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South Park: Stick Of Truth Achievements And Trophy Guide

by on March 2, 2014
 

Welcome to our South Park: Stick Of Truth Guide.  Down below you’ll find our achievements how to grab it and after that a missable guide, that way you can run through it in one playthrough.  If you have any questions or you feel you can explain an achievement better feel free to comment down below.

Achievements:

 

New Kid On The Block
Join the KKK.

This is a story related achievement

 

First Day In South Park
Spend one day in South Park

This is a story related achievement

 

Gingivitis (Missable)
Let Gingers bite you 3 times without blocking

The Gingers won’t bite on your first encounter but the second time you come to the school they will become Nazi zombies. The three bites don’t need to be in one battle, so just let your guard down when you see them coming to bite you.

 

Day Walker (Missable)

Defeat the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

This is your first real boss fight when you are trying to rescue Craig after you find the gold key. There are freckles that you can find in town, but the best way to do this is to give your character freckles when you are creating them.

 

Made This For You
Fling a turd that you created at an enemy in combat.

Find a toilet to make your happy little friend (there are toilets in every house) and be sure to grab it. Once you are in a battle you have the option t go into your items and throw the turd at an enemy. Once you hit them the achievement should pop up.

 

Are we Cool?(Missable)
Find Jesus while playing as a Jew

You must pick The Jew at the start when Cartman asks what class you want to be, remember this is a final decisio, but you can do this achievement right away if you want to start over. To start the quest find Father Maxi at city hall on a bench and he will ask you to find Jesus. You will go to the church and find him very easily. You go back and the priest wants you to find him again, but this time he is behind the pedestal. You may have to redirect the two lights and turn off the ceiling lights right next to it.

 

Parkeologist
Open all garages in South Park

Every house has a garage that can be open, but some require keys. For the ones that are locked you need to either find the key inside their house (very easy to search the draws with the yellow knobs or handles) or find the character and complete the quest that they give you.

 

For The Hoarder
Sell nothing the entire game.

Do not sell any weapons, armor, items or junk that you find. This is a very easy thing to do as I did on my first playthrough on normal. After the game you can do the other achievements which involve buying 500 dollars worth of items and selling a certain number of junk.

 

Truth To Power

Fart on the Mayor, Father Maxi, Principal Vic, & Prime Minister

The Mayor is in city hall, Father Maxi is outside of city hall on the bench, Principal Vic is in the recreation center, but you need to wait until you recruit the Goths, but the Prime Minister can be a problem. You need to save him from a cave when you go to Canada, which is part of the main quest, but if you forget to fart on him he is gone…for good, so don’t forget.

 

Irritable Bowels
Shit your pants during a boss battle

Keep eating mana potions to fill up your mana bar. Once you are full it will give you a danger sign telling you that you are full, but if you eat anymore you’ll crap yourself. Do this during a boss fight like the Ginger hall monitor, the alien pilots, Al Gore and so on.

 

Dog Whistle
Fart on a canine enemy while in Gnome form.

After your adventure with the gnomes you can shrink yourself down to their size at any time. Go out into the forests on any of the corners of town, they lead to the Canadian border during the main quest. You can stun them and then fart of them, or you can fart on them after the battle when they are knocked out. Just be sure to to be in your gnome form.

 

Dragon Wrath
Hit 3 enemies with a single fart outside of combat,

Here is a video by Harry94 on how to get this:

 

Just Saying Hi
Fart on each available buddy in the game.

 

Change your partner to Butters, fart.
Change your partner to Carman, fart.

Just repeat with every partner and done.

 

Re-Buttal
Interrupt 5 channel attacks with a fart.

Whenever an enemy goes into a channel attack (channeling above their head) use a fart spell perfectly to stop them from doing it. One of the first enemies you come across that can channel is the kid with the mask in Jimmy’s house and Jimmy himself at the end.

 

Heisenberg (Missable)
Defeat the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and the bald cap

You will find the goatee in Cartman’s house in the living room stand by the front door. The bald cap is in the police station in the bag by the kid in the jail cell. Just go to the second floor and you’ll find the key in the police locker room. The tweekers are part of the main story line where you have to recruit Tweek, which is one of the first missions you do.

 

Shutout
Successfully block every enemy attack in a single, non –tutorial battle.

Just as it states just make sure you do a perfect block for every attack in a battle. The less enemies the better, but remember not to kill them off too quick because they need to attack for it to count. I would use Kyle in battle because his arrow special ability can usually kill every one in one round, so if you need to finish it quick he is usually your best bet.
Stay Down
Fart on 10 enemies in the world when they’re knocked out.

Once you beat an enemy their body lays on the ground for you to loot on them. Make sure to fart on them before you leave the area because the body will be gone once you do.
Avenger
Defeat at least 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy unconscious.

When your partner is knocked out you need to kill at least 3 enemies. This can be done at any time, just make sure you have enough to heal yourself and something to refill your power points to do quick knockouts.

 

No Child Left Behind
Complete the game without ever ending a combat with a buddy knocked out.

Keep a close eye on your buddy and heal every chance you get. Don’t forget the game auto-saves for you, so the second your partner gets knocked out just reload to the last check point which shouldn’t be that far off. You can also do this on the easiest setting to make things run smoothly. I would suggest using the thief because it is easy to do bleeding damage and it stacks up to bring in a really good punch.

 

Poco Chinpoko
Collect 5 chinpokomon

Go to Chinpokolypse

 

Chinpoko loco
Collect 15 chinpokomon

Go to Chinpokolypse

 

Chinpokolypse (Missable)
Collect all the chinpokomon

 

Daddy Issues
Befriend your Dad

He tells you that he won’t give you a pat on the back until you’ve made more friends. I’m not sure on the actual number yet, but keep returning and when you have enough he’ll be your friend.

 

More Popular Than Jesus
Befriend Half of South Park

Go to the John Lennon guide.

 

Junk Peddler
Sell 300 Junk Items

You will sooner or later get this in the game as long as you collect and search every house or person you defeat. Find a vendor and sell all your junk because…well, it’s junk.

 

Ass of Fire
Kill 20 enemies with Cartman’s ass

Cartman’s second ability has him shooting fire out of his ass.  Be sure to kill 20 enemies with this move.
Canadian Handshake
Fart on people 100 times

Just fart on every person you come across and you’ll get this eventually.

 

Animal Cruelty
Fart on Animals 25 times.

Rats, wolves, bear or snakes it doesn’t matter just fart on them

By Synnarc:
Animal Cruelty can be done by farting on the same animal 25 times. I did this easily in the beginning of the game using the cat that’s fenced in at Cartman’s backyard.

 

Pull Mud
Shit your pants in battle three times.

You just keep eating mana burritos until you crap yourself. Don’t use any magic fart spells at all, just keep eating them even after the bar is full. You’ll see a warning sign pop up and that’s how you know the next bite will be the one that makes you burst.

 

Shopaholic (Missable)
Complete half of the available costume sets.

 

Clothes Whore (Missable)
Complete all available costume sets

 

Friends in Strange Places
Befriend Crab People and Underpants Gnomes.

The gnomes are easy because you just need to search all houses for the five underpants you can give to the gnome in your room; he will be there on the 2nd day. The crab people will be a little more difficult. Go into the sewer next to the Gazette, you can’t miss the open man hole, and go through the sewers all the way to the other end. However, there will be a boulder blocking the path to the crab on the other side, and you can’t break it until you get the last magic move from Terrance and Phillip.

 

Weapon Proficiency
Score 100 perfect attacks
You learned from Cartman how to perform perfect hits by attacking when your weapon flickers. Just do this 100 times.

 

Skilled Defender
Block 100 attacks.

You have to block perfectly 100 times. The second an enemy is about to hit you, you need to hi the block button at the right time. You can’t just hold the block button the whole time because it won’t work. Just remember how Cartman showed you in the start.

 

You Bastards!
Have Kenny Die 10 Times in battle over the course of the game

Like it says, let him die in battle, but he will revive himself shortly after.

Synnarc:
You Bastards can be done in a single battle as Kenny comes back from the dead after a round or two. Defeat all but one enemy and choose to weapon attack but don’t hit any buttons when your weapon lights up. Keep yourself healed up and let Kenny die 10x. I recommend you create a save right before doing this so you can roll back after the achievement pops to continue the No Child Left Behind achievement.

 

Mastery
Unlock all the upgrades for one of the new kid’s abilities

Each ability can be upgraded four times, just upgrade one fully. The level cap in the game is 15, so choose wisely.

 

Make it Rain!
Spend 500$

When you are trying to complete the sets you’ll be spending much more than 500 bucks to get it.

Full Arsenal
Collect all the weapons and costumes available in the game.’

 Click here for a list of all the equipment.

 

KKK Hero (Missable)
You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle

Hit Kyle and beat him in battle when given the choice at the school

 

Elven Hero (Missable)
You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle

Hit Cartman and beat him in battle when given the choice at the school

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlxJO8HIFEU

 

Nonconformist
You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game

Story related

 

Inside Joke (Missable)
While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave

You first need to go to Mr. Slaves house and do his quest so you can summon him. You can only summon him once a day, so do this before you go to Clyde’s house. Once up top his tower you will go inside Mr. Slave’s anus and there you can summon him.

 

Face Hoff (Missable)
You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff

Go to the plastic surgeon in town and get the nose job for Hasselhoff, it will cost 125 dollars. Just keep it on and beat the game with it, and you can get your face back for a dollar.

 

Acceptance (Missable)
You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself

When you pick your name Cartman will ask you if your name is Douchebag, just say yes.

 

Two Girls, One Stick (Missable)
You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise

Just like it says wear your girl outfit when you kill Kenny

 

Outpatient (Missable)
You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS

You get Dire AIDS from the wolves in Canada. Just let them attack you and you will get it. Instead of healing yourself at the Canadian clinic just finish the game with the AIDS.

 

Perverted (Missable)
You Watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds

Just like it says watch your game parents have sex for a minute on their dresser…

 

Stick Savior
You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth

You beat the game good job!

 

Too Far (Missable)
You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus

After you beat a Nazi Zombie fetus at the clinic you just need to fart on the left over corpse. Do this now because once you leave the area the bodies vanish!

 

More Popular Than John Lennon

Everyone in South Park is your friend.

 

1) Butters: Automatically
2) Clyde: Talk to him in Kupa Keep before you talk to Cartman and finish the training
3) Scott Malkinson: Talk to him in Kupa Keep
4) Kenny: Give him the Daffodil in Kupa Keep
5) Mrs. Cartman: Inside Cartmans house
6) Dougie: Outside Butters House
7) Mrs. Stotch: Inside Butters House
8) Mr. Stotch: Inside Butters house
9) Mom: inside your house
10) Kelly Gardener: Down the street to the right of Craig’s House
11) Pete: The garage to the left of Kelly Gardener, shoot the box in the back right and head to the second floor.
12) Romper Stomper: Inside the jail cell inside the police station, the key is in the locker room on the second floor, shoot the shelf outside the door to get it.
13) Kevin Stoley: Complete the quest Vulcan around, given to you by Stoley in his house, to the left of Craigs. The ipad is located behind the tree to the right of the church.
14) Mr. McCormick: To the left of Skeeters bar
15) Skeeter: Complete the rats in the cellar quest given to you by Skeeter
16) Bartender: Complete the rats in the cellar quest given to you by Skeeter.
17) Mr. Kim: Complete the Mongolian Beef quest.
18) Al Gore: Just to the right of the movie theater.
19) General Disarray: Inside the Chaos Lair at U-Store It
20) Francis: Located outside the Broflovski House, destroy the snowman to be his friend
21) Mr. Browfolvski: Outside his house, talk to him.
22) Officer Barbrady: Outside Tom’s Rhinoplasty
23) Millie: To the right of the planned parenthood building
24) Mrs. Biggle: Outside the Post Office
25) Esther: Inside the news office building, the key is in the post office
26) Annie: Defeat the bullies outside of City Hall
27) Jesus: Complete the Find Jesus Quest given to you by Priest Maxi
28) Priest Maxi: Complete the Find Jesus Quest given to you by Priest Maxi
29) Mr. Slave: Complete Quest Mr. Slave’s Package
30) Token: Automatic
31) Karen: Inside Kenny’s House
32) Mrs. McCormick: Inside Kenny’s House
33) Damien: Inside 9the movie theater
34) Kelly Rutherford: After you have thirty friends talk to her by the bus stop
35) Mrs. Marsh: Buy something from her inside Tom’s Rhinoplasty
36) Sally: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (To the left of Mr. Slave’s house)
37) Billy: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (On the farm in the left corner)
38) Jenny: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (When you get to the lake take the upper path to the right)
39) Quaid: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (Inside the sewer behind the garbage)
40) Flora: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (Outside the Tower of Peace, behind lamp post)
41) Filmore: Complete Hide and Seek Side Quest (Inside the bank)
42) Tweek: Automatic
43) Lola: Talk to her in the Post Office after you have gained 40 or more friends
44) Craig: Automatic
45) Randy: Automatic
46) Santa: Head into the police station and up to the second floor, enter the Locker room on the right and then head out the emergency exit. Use the Alien Probe to get to the roof and talk to Santa.
47) Douglas: The pink building to the left of the Photo-Dojo, use the Alien Probe.
48) Amber: Found during the Dropping the Kids off sidequest, given to you by Mr. Hankey in the sewers.
49) Cornwallis: Same as above
50) Simon: Same as above
51) Mr. Hankey: Complete the Dropping off the Kids Sidequest
52) Mrs. Hankey: Same as above
53) Mayor McDaniels: Complete the Homeless Problem Sidequest she gives you.

Christmas Critters: To get to them enter the Lost Forest and take the following path: Right, Up, Right, Down, Right. Then Accept the Lord and they will all be your friends.
54) Racoony: See Christmas Critters Above
55) Chickadee-y: See Christmas Critters Above
56) Foxy: See Christmas Critters Above
57) Porcupiney: See Christmas Critters Above
58) Woodpeckery: See Christmas Critters Above
59) Deery: See Christmas Critters Above
60) Squirrely: See Christmas Critters Above
61) Mousey: See Christmas Critters Above
62) Beavery: See Christmas Critters Above
63) Skunky: See Christmas Critters Above
64) Rabbity: See Christmas Critters Above
65) Beary: See Christmas Critters Above
66) Dad: Talk to him after you have 50 friends
67) Mr. Tweek: Buy a Speed Potion Ultra from Tweeks Coffee Shop
68) Mrs. Tweek: Same as above
69) Jason: Talk to him in the Elven Kingdom
70) Timmy: Complete the Timmy Express Side Quest
71) Jimmy(The Bard): Complete the quest he gives you when you talk to him at Kyle’s
72) DogPoo: Complete the quest he gives you in Kyle’s Backyard
73) Stan: Complete the quest he gives you in Kyle’s Backyard
74) Shelly Marsh(She-Ogre): Talk to her after you defeat her
75) Mr. Mackey: Complete his sidequest in the Community Center
76) Sergeant Yates: Complete his side quest, found in the police station, after the zombies invade the town.
77) Mr. Garrison: Talk to him after you complete the PTA Problems Quest
78) Mr. Adler: Talk to him after you complete the PTA Problems Quest
79) Principal Victoria: Talk to her after you complete the PTA Problems Quest
80) Mrs. Broflovski: Talk to her after you complete the PTA Problems Quest
81) Firkle: Automatically gained
82) Pete: Automatically gained
83) Michael: Automatically gained
84) Henrietta: Automatically gained
85) Kyle: Automatically gained
86) Bill: During the attack on the school you will head up to the second floor of the school, head to the left and you will see two kids being attacked, save them.
87) Fosse: During the attack on the school you will head up to the second floor of the school, head to the left and you will see two kids being attacked, save them.
88) Lemmiwinks (Rat): Inside the 5th grade classroom, right across from the 4th grade classroom.
89) Underpants Gnome: Complete his quest in your room
90) Bradley: You will need Gnome Dust to get him, he is to the left of Stan’s House.
91) Leroy Mullens: On the roof of the news building, you will need Gnome Powder
92) Cartman: Automatic
93) Chris Donnely: After you join alliances with both sides talk to him in Kyles Backyard
94) Monica: Automatic
95) Jessie Rodriguez: Automatic
96) Earl of Winnipeg: Automatic
97) Bishop of Banff: Save him during the mission and he will befriend you.
98) Prince of Canada: Automatic
99) Duke of Vancouver: Automatic
100) Terrence: Automatic
101) Phillip: Automatic
102) Minister of Montreal: Automatic
103) Princess of Canada: Automatic
104) Jimbo: Complete Big Game Hunter Side Quest
105) Ned: Same as Above
106) Crab Person: Down in the sewers, by the theater manhole cover exit you will see a Nagasaki point, he is inside.
107) Polly Prissypants: Talk to her inside Cartman’s room after you two have become friends.
108) Wendy: Automatic
109) Bebe: Automatic
110) Red: Automatic
111) Jessie: Talk to her after the girls agree to join you
112) Nelly: Talk to her after the girls agree to join you
113) Heidi: Talk to her after the girls agree to join you
114) Allie Nelson: Talk to her after the girls agree to join you
115) Chinpokomon Corporation: Collect all 30 ChinPokomon
116) Ike: During the assault on Clydes keep, the little kid will start crying, fart on the flame next to him to be his friend.
117) Mr. Hat: Automatic
118) Big Gay Al: Answer the Phone to friend him
119) Catafish: Automatic
120) Sparrow Prince: Automatic
121) Frog King: Automatic

 

 

Missable Guide!

Two things that needs to be said before you start.  First, the achievement For The Horde requires you not to sell A SINGLE THING in the game until after you beat the game.  Second, the only class achievement is the Jew.  You need to do the Are We Cool achievement for it.  You can do this achievement real quick as you leave Cartman’s house and pick a new class.

I would also like to remind you to do Mr. Slaves quests so you can summon him, and do not use him at all on the 2nd day!

 

Cartman’s House:

Achievements:

Besides the above to get the Acceptance achievement just acknowledge your name is douchebag when he asks you.

 

Items/Friends:

Clyde – Friend him before talking to Cartman (MAY NOT BE REQUIRED AS HE UNFRIENDS YOU AFTER. BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY THOUGH)

 

Tweek’s Quest:

Achievements:

Tweek will ask you to go get something from some tweekers at the start of the game.  Look at the Heisenberg achievement before you go to the tweekers to get the right items.

 

First Trip To School:  

Achievements:

You’ll come back to the school, but things will be different so be sure to get what you can now.  To get Day Walker you need to be the hall monitor with freckles on that you found in the school or that you equipped yourself.

 

Items/Friends:

Dodgeball – During your first visit to the school you will have to obtain several sets of keys. This is located on one of the hall monitors in the group that has the brass key. (The first key you get)
Mace of Restoration – On your first visit inside the school after defeating the hallway monitor boss you must immediately use the key to unlock the nearby locker.

 

Giggling Donkey:

Items/Friends
Chinpokemon – In the attic on the floor. Pretty obvious but missable nonetheless.
Wood elf gloves – Looted from a wood elf in the attic of the giggling donkey.
Crutch of Weakness – Obtained off of Jimmy after defeating him on the upper floor of the Giggling Donkey.
Wood elf cap – Obtained from a yellow chest on the second floor of the Giggling Donkey after defeating Jimmy. It’s in the same room.

 

Tower of peace (Side Quest):

Items/Friends
Mongorian Bow – On one of the mongolian children on the second floor of the Tower of Peace after ringing the gong.

 

First Night (Aliens): 

Items/Friends

Alien helmet – In a purple chest after freeing yourself from the probing machine on the spaceship. It’s behind Randy.
Alien suit – After taking the elevator down to the room with a tube at the bottom with 2 aliens inside and several platforms and consoles to interface it’s in the purple chest to the left of the elevator.
Alien gloves – Dropped from the space officer in the same room with the third panel to free Randy on the alien spaceship.
Tinfoil Hat – Obtained from the Alien Conspiracy Hobo on the alien spaceship. After you’ve lowered the forcefield you must take the ladder down from in front of the entrance to where Randy is and he is hiding in a pile of garbage.
Alien Probe – After lowering the forcefields it is in a purple chest to the left of the entrance to where Randy is held and you escaped from.
Chinpokemon – On top of a set of monitors near end of ship

 

Second Trip To School: 

Achievements

It is a little bit different here and there are some parts you can visit again and some you can’t.  First, you need to let three Nazi gingers bite you for the Gingervitis achievement.  Last, save before you go inside to the fourth grade class because you have to choose either to follow Cartman or Kyle.  You need to beat one for the KKK Hero and Elven Hero achievement, so beat one and load up and beat the other.

 

Items/Friends

Necromancer hood – On one of the students attacking your fellow human/elf when you first go up to the second floor upon your second visit to the school.
Necromancer robes – On one of the nazi zombie gingers in the room near the entrance to the Boiler Room upon your second visit to the school.
Necromancer gloves – On one of the students directly before entering the hallway from the cafeteria upon your second visit to the school.
Basketball – On one of the already defeated students inside the cafeteria upon your second visit to the school. To the right of the IN door.
Lemmiwinks – Grade 5 classroom
Bill – Save during main questline
Fossey – Save during main questline.
Chinpokemon – Second floor after beating boss inside a locker.

 

Second Night (Gnomes):

Achievements

You cannot come back to this area at all.  First, the gnomes channel a lot, so this is a good time to do the Re-Buttal achievement.  Last, the Pervert achievement requires you to watch the parents have sex for one minute.  When you gout of the light socket just stand there and think about all the therapy this kid is going to have.

 

Clinic:

Achievements

There are two things you need to do here.  You need to fart on one of the nazi babbies to get the achievement Too Far.

 

Items/Friends

Chinpokemon – Behind some rubble after a certain scene.
Master Razor – During the Unplanned Parenthood visit you will have to go into a small hole using the Gnome Dust after being locked in the records room. Just below where the Gnome Nazi Zombies are there is a yellow pouch. It is located inside.
Poison Grenade – Inside of Unplanned Parenthood during the quest for the girls it will be in a drawer underneath the clock between the Records Room and Operating Room A.

 

C.I.A Building:

Items/Friends
SWAT Armored Headgear – After breaking into the C.I.A. building where the mall was for the first time it’s on one of the guards killed by the Nazi Zombie.
SWAT Vest – After breaking into the C.I.A. building where the mall was for the first time it’s on one of the guards killed by the Nazi Zombie.
SWAT Tactical Gloves – After breaking into the C.I.A. building where the mall was for the first time it’s on one of the guards killed by the Nazi Zombie.

 

Canada:

Achievements

When you go to save the Prime Minister in a cave after you learn the last fart spell you need to fart on him.  This is to get the Truth To Power and he is the only missable character for that.

 

Clyde’s Fortress:

Alright, you need to save before you go to battle him and grab Mr. Slave’s summon by doing his quest and use him when you are inside his anus to get Inside Joke.  There are a few achievements you can get here, but it involves you doing different things.  The Face Off achievement requires you to go to the plastic surgeon to get David Hasslehoffs face, it is 125 bucks, and beat the game.  For Outpatient you need to beat the game with Dire AIDS, so make sure not to cure it.  For Two Girls, One Stick beat the final boss with your girls clothes on that you got at the makeover.  There is a collectible on top of the fortress when you have to destroy the two wheels with chains on them, just use the alien device.

 

Items/Friends

Cylde’s Area
Knight helmet – Yellow chest in the right tower where you see Ike and the pirate girl fighting another Cyclops.
Knight Armor – After defeating Craig and his clones it is in the yellow chest in the upper left of the room.
Knight Gauntlets – Cyclops child in the first room of Clyde’s fortress. He is on the upper level. Same room as the lawn dart’s location.
Lawn Dart – Yellow Chest on the first floor of clyde’s fortress
Ike – During assault, when you get to the point where you need to hit two switches to open a gate. Ike will get hit, and start crying. Set the firework off with your farts and it’ll kill the enemy, he’ll friend you after it.
Chinpokemon – After a ladder, there is an alien device on the roof, shoot at it.
Mr. Slave
Condom cap – In the yellow chest right after turning on the flash light in Mr. Slave.
Vibroblade – Nazi Zombie Bacteria inside Mr. Slave next to the iPhone that Big Gay Al calls on.
Big Gay Al. – Answer the phone.

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